A Plea From a Former Prude Teacher - Part 2
“There’s theater in life, obviously and there’s life in theater ”
There are so many issues that come with staging an intimate scene with teenagers. Okay, “issues” sounds wrong. Let’s go with “scaries.” Things that are nerve wracking before, during and after the staging of said intimate moment. The first, and in my opinion the scariest, is - do the two people actually like each other? As a teenager, it’s hard to separate acting and real life. I would never want to make any of my kids kiss a human they don’t like off stage, so doing it onstage feels wrong and mean, yet necessary. It’s the magic of theater. Poof! You like each other now. The second scary thing comes with the actual staging of the scene. How? How do you explain it? Show it? Get the students to do what you need them to do? All methods of teaching go out the window. The third - how much do you explain? When working with students, everything can and should be a learning opportunity, but… is this really something I should be teaching them? Here kids - this is how you have sex! So many scaries!
Back to Spring Awakening rehearsal, but this time, with a plan of action. First - I was going to take the two leads and just stage their section. You know, the sex! Then, once I stopped sweating profusely, I would take the ensemble and add them in. I told my type-A personality to get it together and plan it out so that it all becomes more of a to-do list than anything else.
My two leads were two of my favorite students of all time. A good ol’ fifteen year old Catholic School boy (who steady readers will know because he also proposed to me before he graduated high school) and a beautiful, wholesome sixteen year old girl, whom I had known for at least two years. These two were best friends. Phew. Actually, he was totally in love with her and we all knew it but she friendzoned him hard.
The three of us went in to one of the smaller rehearsal rooms while the rest of the cast worked on something else. They sat there holding hands, waiting for instructions. That was heart-warming. I had 45 minutes to get this done, so I made a list of story points we had to hit in order for the song to not only grow (bad choice of words) but also make sense. I stared down at my paper, not making any eye contact at all and read the bulleted list aloud. These two seemingly unfazed young adults in front of me said ‘okay’ and proceeded to move so they were facing each other - pre-makeout position.
As a teacher, you have tricks that you use to help students understand what you want or need out of their performances. At this point in their training, I like to allow the students to do what feels natural and then adjust. Asking a fifteen year old boy to do what’s natural in this situation… uh, so many potential problems. DO NOT DO WHAT FEELS NATURAL. HALT! So, the rule was, we step through the motions, you do not do anything until everyone says it is okay. My young male lead was very serious about this. He wanted his best friend (and current love of his life) to be comfortable. Bless him. Consent is sexy people!
The other trick, especially in scenes of combat and contact, is for the director / choreographer to demonstrate. Welp, that trick went right out the window faster than you could say Spring Awakening.
Staging a sex scene with teenagers is like playing the worst game of twister ever! Right hand - hip. Left hand - face. Left foot - over the other person's body. It felt stoic, stagnant and oddly, kinda dirty - but that was the method I was going with because at twenty two, my bag of tricks was only so big.
We had been working on the scene for an hour and very little had been accomplished. I was flustered, fumbling over my words, not looking at the actors, checking in with my list, going to the bathroom, laughing. I was a mess. These two were frustrated, to say the least, and I could see it on their faces. Then, the 15 year old Catholic school boy said something I will NEVER forget.
“Lexie - we need you to get your shit together and be the adult. We need your help.”
I then proceeded to get really upset. Not only had I just been yelled at by a fifteen year old, but he was totally right! Staging this number was causing me so much anxiety but I didn’t stop to think about the fact that these kids are also probably freaking the hell out. Once again, THIS ISN’T ABOUT ME! I walked outside and cried... a lot. And then came back in… and we talked.
I learned a new trick that day; speak in terms of the characters. How does Melchior feel about kissing Wendla? How does Wendla feel about this situation? Is she scared? How is she made to feel more comfortable? What does Melchior have to do to allow her to feel safe? How can your male lead make you feel more safe? We used the emotional state of the characters to discuss how to best stage this number. We used the characters as a guide to have a conversation.
Then it shifted.
For the next forty minutes the three of us sat and talked about relationships and what exactly leads people to want to have sex. They talked about pressure and societal norms, especially from a guys perspective. If a guy has sex in high school, he is considered a hero. If a girl has sex in high school, she is considered a slut. We talked about consent and what that really looks like as a teen. Then we talked about love… real, emotional connection type love. These two humans in front of me loved each other. Not in a romantic way, but in a deeply honest and respectful way. They wanted to take care of each other on stage.
Two hours after the start of rehearsal, the number was finished.
Side Note: When we finally staged the number with the whole group, one of the ensemble girls came up to me and said, “Yeah… I am definitely not ready to have sex.” (WINNING!)
I posted a poll on Instagram asking “Would you do Spring Awakening with teenagers?” Thirty six percent of people said “No.” A good friend of mine (a theatrical guru of sorts) messaged me and said that actually, teenagers are the only age group that should be doing that show. It’s about them! And I couldn’t agree more.
As a teacher, it is incredibly difficult to get out of your own way. I didn’t want the kids to do the show because I didn’t want to see them interacting with the content. But it’s not about me. It’s not about us, the adults. It’s about what the students can and should get out of the material. Do they have health class? Sure. Does it discuss relationships, sex and intimacy in this way? Who knows. If I can make that space, I should.
I would be lying if I said I was completely healed of my mature content anxiety. Doing Heathers with teens tested my ability to hold it together on a whole different level - but that’s a story for another day.
