A Jumping Off Point
“Don’t you know that we’s a family?
Would I let you down? No way
Just hold on, kid, ‘til the train makes Santa Fe”
I believe in check-ins. I know many teachers are anti check-in. ‘It takes time’, ‘It’s too personal’,‘I have too much to get through in my class’, all fair points. If I taught a subject that was fueled by testing and curriculum, I may not check in either. If I taught a subject that didn’t involve emotional literacy and empathy building, I would probably avoid check-in’s like the plague. In an educational world fueled by progress, testing and deep intellectual knowledge, we forget that we are also raising and teaching humans how to be … humans. The feeling, processing and reflecting process are usually taught through the arts. Therefore, check-ins are part of my curriculum.
If the last seven months have taught me anything it’s that ‘How are you?’ is a terrible question. Not only is it vague, but we have learned how to answer it in the way people expect: Fine - Good - Eh - Livin’ the dream - Ok -How are you? etc. It’s the amuse-bouche of questions, but less delicious. If you actually want to know how someone is or more importantly how someone feels, you need to ask a different type of question.
All of my classes start with a check-in question. The question begins with “If your current emotional state was a…” and then I insert some scattegory-like topic and ask why. This helps the students to narrow down how they FEEL and then spin it into a creative little package.
If your current emotional state was a class at school, what class would be and why?
‘Math - Because everyone is trying to get the same answer and I feel like I am trying really hard to fit in.’
‘Drama - I have a lot of energy and I’ve been laughing a lot today. ‘
‘Optional Assembly '- I know that I should probably go and that I will probably learn something but I just don’t want to. That’s how I feel about school today.’
If your current emotional state was a state, what state would you be and why?
‘South Dakota - I feel completely lost and unseen.’
‘Illinois - Chicago is there and that’s cool but other than that, what is in Illinois ya know? I have one thing I’m really excited about and everything else is just there.
‘California - I’m chillin’. Everything is vibin’
If your current emotional state was a mode of transportation, what mode of transportation would you be and why?
‘Hoverboard - It was cool a few years ago but now it’s out of style. I feel like I peaked already.’
‘Walking - I’ll get to where I need to be, it just won’t be very efficient. I know I could hop on the subway but I just... don’t.’
‘Train - This train is moving and I can’t stop it’
Recently there have been a lot of snaps, ‘me too’s’ and heart emojis flying around the Zoom chat. They have started to listen and be compassionate.
I usually don’t answer my own questions. I let all the kids share and then I jump right into the lesson. This week, one of my students called out:
‘Ms. Frare, you didn’t go!’
‘I never go’.
‘I know but you’re a person too - you deserve a check in’.
Not ‘you're an adult’, ‘you're a woman’, ‘you're a teacher’, ‘you're a New Yorker’. No - You are a PERSON and ALL PEOPLE deserve check-in’s and time to feel, process and reflect.
Fast forward this idea. You are a PERSON and ALL PEOPLE deserve the right to... love who they want, have control over their bodies, have access to healthcare, live in a world where they are respected, valued and feel like they belong no matter the color of their skin. Are there at least 100 other steps to get to there? Absolutely. Is this a great jumping off point? Hell yes.
Imagine an entire class of ninth graders, or better yet, an entire generation that believes “You’re a person too - you deserve …”
